And I thought that damn light was really fuckin’ bright so I kept starin’ at that damn thing and then I noticed it was gettin’ bigger and movin’ closer to me. So I pulled out my shotgun and started shootin’ that damn thing, but that didn’t matter none. Then that beam of light came down and I started floatin’ up in the air and then I got about 500 feet off the ground before I got sucked up in that spaceship. Soon as I got in there, there was this alien named Fred. He told to pull my pants down, course I didn’t comply none, so he yanked em down for me. Then he took out this big ol anal probe and violated me like a damn sheep stuck on a barbed-wire fence. Bout that time I blacked out from the pain. When I came to, man, I was laying on the floor in the restroom in that bar with my pants around my ankles. I tell you what, I’m not to familiar with what i was drinkin’ that night, somethin’ called a roofie colada, but that’s the last time I drink that son of a bitch while dancing to YMCA.